Update me please?

Currently...

My life has been great these past days... Even with some heart breaking inside. Not because of me or about me... I just have been thinking a lot about my family. There is so much going on and I cant be there to comfort and love them. I would love to tell you all about it all, but its sticking in the family box. But it hurts to think about it all. I wish more then anything I could be there. Lately I have been talking to Amber and I am so glad that were talking again. She is my sister through my heart. We kinda got into a argument a few months back and I shut my self completely from her, and It was killing me not wanting to talk to her. I didnt have anyone to talk to and tell my deep secrets to like I normally do. But now I have her back in my life and I am so thankful. We talked an hour in the morning and then at night time we talked another hour, then we talked for a couple hours on facebook IM. It was great. Its so good to have her back in my life!

Lately i've realized how many people I have shut out of my life completely. The people who hurt me and the people who would tell me how to run my life. I had to leave the one place I love because it was hurting me.. But im thinking lately how everyone is so close and how their doing so good and im not apart of that. I wanna be apart of that and them but I cant be to their standard.. Im not good enough for them, I know im not.. I cant be like them. Im not strong enough or I cant give up my greediness. I dont know whats wrong with me. Im going back to what I grew up to. I just miss all my friends. I miss being apart of their life. I miss going on trips. I miss spending every sunday night with people I love. Its so frustrating to me. I wish I could get it all together. I miss being best friends with Selena, Shiloh, Chasko, and Jessie. I miss being us five all the time. But we all moved on to better and bigger things.. or for me.. to lower non christian things. I really feel like im not good enough for them.. like I feel awkward anymore... Im trying to be their friend, but I cant open up to them without feeling so low about who I am.

My JOB! I love it! I love working for arbys! Its getting easier everyday! I love the people I work with. Except for one. But I think we all have that one person we cant get a long with. I have one of them people at my work. I get frustrated with her every second, but I pretend im not, and just do my bestest around her, because honestly I dont feel like having her be a biatchh to me. She does my job for me like I dont know what im doing so she looks good and i look bad. I try and help her but im not fast enough for her. well Im sorry i havent worked there for 5 years like her. Today she was like get the chicken and my reply back was strong and i know what im doing voice and i said "already got in there a few minutues ago,thanks though." :) yepp I love my job!!!
I am looking for another job so I can work nights, weekends and even midnight shifts! I really need another job so I can pay bills and help phill and han out more with bills. Im excited to get another job!!! I LOVE WORKING!!!! :D

I am buying a car as well! I have the money too! woohoo!
Im probably buying Brenitas car from her!!

a lot is going on... but this is all im gonna say. :)


have a wonderful nighttt or day!

<3